By Jennifer Nelson

They're the first face you see after admission, and the last you see at discharge. Nurses spend more time with patients than any other clinician in the hospital, yet how much do patients really understand about what happens on the other side of the call button? We asked nurses what they wish their patients knew –– about their work, the waiting, and what happens behind the scenes of their commitment, dedication, and empathy. Here is what they said.

Bailyn Fields, RN

Health Education Specialist, Boomer Benefits

Triage isn't first-come, first-served; it's risk-first.

"That's why someone who arrived at the hospital later may be taken through sooner if their symptoms suggest immediate danger," says Fields, who's been a nurse for 12 years. "Triage is one of the main ways nurses prevent avoidable harm when demand is higher than capacity. In a busy department, decisions are being made continuously about who could deteriorate in minutes vs who is stable enough to wait a bit longer, even if they feel dreadful. Those judgments depend on the whole picture, not just one symptom.

"It also helps to understand that long waits usually reflect system pressure and bottlenecks, not a lack of concern. When people assume nobody cares, frustration understandably rises, but conflict at the desk or in the waiting area can slow care for everyone and distract staff from clinical assessment. With staffing stretched and a lot of care happening simultaneously, a calmer environment helps nurses make better, safer decisions," Fields says.

Justin Marks, BSN, RN

Stroke/Telemetry Unit, University of Maryland St. Joseph Medical Center

We want to see your humanity, and we hope you see ours.

"Nobody wants to be in a hospital. Not the patients, not the families, and truthfully, sometimes we don't want to be here either. But we made the conscious choice to walk through those doors every shift to meet people on what might be the worst day of their lives, doing everything we can to make it better," says Marks, a nurse with 1 year in the profession.

"I wish patients knew just how deeply we truly care about their well-being, and that at the end of the day, we only want to be treated like normal human beings. The small talk, the jokes, and the stories about friends and family that patients share with us are important. They serve as a powerful reminder that behind the illness, injury, or alarms, there is a person just like us, sometimes with an identical background.

"Connecting over those small moments helps us see your humanity, which ultimately inspires us to provide the best, most compassionate care possible. Regardless of how a patient or their family member treats me during a tough shift, I still make it my personal mission to try to get them to smile or laugh at least once. If I can do that, even if just for a fleeting moment, I know I've eased a bit of their pain and made their day a little less miserable than it already is," says Marks.

Sarah Visker, MSN, RN, NI-BC

Director of Clinical Informatics, Aiva Health

If your nurse seems rushed, it's not because they don't care.

"Most nurses choose this profession because they genuinely want to care for people, be present during difficult moments, and advocate for their patients," says Visker, a nurse with over 20 years of experience.

"That commitment has not changed. What has changed is the amount of time nurses spend managing documentation, technology, and other responsibilities that compete with direct patient care. Many nurses are balancing the needs of multiple patients while also completing tasks that are required behind the scenes. As a result, we sometimes have less time at the bedside than we would like," she says.

"I wish patients understood this because it can help explain why a nurse may not always be able to respond immediately or spend as much time in the room as either of us would prefer. Even when we are not physically present, we are often working on something related to a patient's care. Understanding that can help build trust and reduce frustration during what is often a stressful experience. Most importantly, patients should know that their nurse's commitment to them remains the same, even when the system makes it harder to show it."

Anneliese Cadena, MSN, AGNP-C, RN

Clinical Advisor, Functional and Aesthetic Medicine, Feel30

There is a difference between aging and suffering.

"Aging is a natural part of life, but many people assume that feeling exhausted, losing strength, losing sleep, brain fog, gaining weight, or losing interest in activities they once enjoyed is simply the price of getting older," says Cadena, who's been a nurse practitioner for 12 years.

"How we age is influenced by the small choices we make every day. The quality of our sleep, the food we eat, how much we move our bodies, how we manage our stress, and the quality of our relationships all shape our long-term health.

"As a nurse, I often see patients searching for the next quick fix while overlooking the foundations of health. While medications can be lifesaving and are sometimes necessary, they work best when paired with healthy habits. Many of the chronic conditions we treat today, like obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease, are directly influenced by our daily habits. Our daily habits can positively or negatively affect our energy, recovery, metabolic health, and hormone balance. The goal isn't to stop aging. The goal is to age gracefully. My hope is that patients understand they don't have to settle for feeling unwell. Starting today, we can make better, consistent choices that will have a profound impact on our health and quality of life."

Constance Hall, EdD-CI, MSN, BA, RN

Chair, Master of Public Health Program, Post University

Your nurse sees you as a whole person, not a diagnosis.

"When I walk into a patient's room, I am not just tracking vitals or administering medications; I am reading the room. I notice when you are frightened but trying to be brave. I notice when you don't understand what the physician just said, yet you nod anyway. I notice when the family member sitting in the corner is carrying even more anxiety than you are. Nursing is the science of observation and the art of human connection, and we practice both simultaneously around the clock," says Hall, a nurse with 32 years of experience.

"Speaking up is never a burden to us; it is our purpose. Tell us what hurts, what confuses you, and what you are afraid to ask the doctor. Tell us what matters to you outside of these four walls, because it directly shapes the care we provide inside them. The more you share, the more precisely we can advocate for you — and advocacy is the very core of what we do," says Hall.

"Today's healthcare system is treacherous to navigate alone. It is complex, fragmented, and often overwhelming, even for those of us who work inside it. Every patient deserves an advocate — someone who knows the exact questions to ask, who understands the system well enough to push back when necessary, and who will refuse to let you fall through the cracks. If you have a nurse in your life, lean on them. If you don't, seek one out. You should never have to navigate this alone."

Pam Vollmer, DNP, RN, AMB-BC, NPD-BC

CEO and Director of Content, CE Ready

Nurses are human, too.

We carry a lot of weight with us. The stories of loss, of a new terminal diagnosis, or of dangerous situations where we're unable to help keep us up at night. We wonder about our patients after they leave our care. Sometimes we are able to follow them briefly, but often we don't know the outcome and wish we did," says Vollmer, who holds a doctorate in nursing education and is the owner of a continuing education company.

"The calm demeanor patients often see in us is practiced and deliberate. It is not that we don't have emotions; it is that we are tracking a dozen different things while also coping with emotional fatigue and trying to make sure neither one causes us to make a mistake. When patients understand that our steadiness is effort rather than indifference, it changes the relationship. They trust us with their care and vulnerability, and that's exactly what helps us keep them safe," she says.

Laura DeLeon, DNP, APRN, FNP-C, RNC-OB

Assistant Professor, School of Nursing, Touro University Nevada

Your voice is your most powerful weapon.

"During my 30-year nursing career, I have worked in labor and delivery, antepartum (caring for high-risk pregnant patients), maternal and child home health, maternal-newborn, and gynecology. Women are the heart and anchor of the family, and I have dedicated my career to caring for them and providing optimal healthcare," says DeLeon, who holds a doctorate in nursing.

"I feel that women should listen to themselves and make sure that their providers are listening to them. You know your body better than anyone else, and if something does not feel right, speak up. Historically, women's complaints are more likely to be dismissed or minimized. If the answers you get do not make sense, keep pushing for clarity. You have every right to advocate for yourself and seek the highest-quality, respectful care you deserve. Come prepared with written symptoms and complaints, ask direct questions, and always seek a second opinion if you feel you are not being heard," says DeLeon.

Karen Selby, RN

Thoracic Oncology Nurse and Patient Advocate, The Mesothelioma Center at Asbestos.com

Medicine is not a perfect science.

"Doctors and nurses do everything they can with the information available, but sometimes the correct diagnosis isn't obvious right away. Many illnesses share the same symptoms, and it often takes additional testing, imaging, or even time for the full picture to become clear," says Selby, who's been a nurse for 30 years.

"I encourage patients to advocate for themselves. If something doesn't feel right or symptoms persist despite treatment, don't be afraid to ask questions, seek a second opinion, or request a referral to a specialist. Finding the right diagnosis is sometimes a process, not a single appointment. The most important thing is to keep communicating with your healthcare team. We all share the same goal: finding the right answers and helping you receive the best possible care."

Jasmine Bhatti, RN

Founder, Navi Nurses

The best care plans are built together.

"Patients often think their job is to follow instructions, and ours is to make decisions. The best care plans are built together — and we can't build one without you. Speak up about changes in your body, even the ones that scare you or feel too small to mention; some of the most important catches in my career started with a patient saying, "it's probably nothing, but…." Speak up about what matters to you, not just what you think matters to us — a care plan can be medically sound and still fail if it ignores the life a person lives.

"Speak up if you feel unheard, and speak up to be part of the decision, not just the recipient of it. Informed consent isn't a form you sign; it's an ongoing conversation, and you're allowed to ask why a particular path was chosen and what happens if you choose differently. I wish more patients understood that their perspective isn't a "nice to have" tacked onto their care; it's the foundation of it.

"When patients speak up, we don't just get a more accurate plan; we get a plan built around the person who must live it. That's not a higher standard of care reserved for the few who insist on it. It's what every person deserves," says Bhatti, who worked in nursing for two decades before founding a company bringing personalized, hospital-quality nursing care to the home.

Crystal Brader Steczak, BSN, RN, CCRN-CMC, SCRN

Senior Clinical Nurse II, ICU, University of Maryland Upper Chesapeake Medical Center Bel Air

We see our patients deeply.

"I wish patients knew how deeply I see them — not as a diagnosis or a room number, but as individuals fighting through some of the most difficult moments of their lives. I notice the quiet signs of fear, the strength it takes to keep fighting, the courage behind every small step forward, and the anxiety behind every setback," says Steczak, who has been an ICU nurse for 14 years.

"I also wish their families knew that I see them, too: the worry in their voices, the exhaustion they try to hide, and the love that keeps them showing up even when they are overwhelmed. I carry their hopes with me when they leave the room, and I stand in the gap when they need rest, ensuring their loved one is never alone.

"In every interaction — whether with a patient who cannot speak or a family searching for reassurance — my intention remains the same: to care for them with the same compassion I would want for my own family."

Sarah Morisette-Moore, DNP, MSN, MBA, RN

Nursing Professor, American Sentinel College of Nursing and Health Sciences at Post University

Be your own advocate or bring along a trusted friend or family member.

"You would think that with all the technology we have today, the healthcare system would be more seamless, but there are still huge gaps. Things can get overlooked, delayed, or even dismissed, and that can affect your care," says Morisette-Moore, who's been a nurse for more than 16 years.

"Take the time to do a little research and come prepared with questions that matter most to you. Do not wait days or weeks expecting someone to call you about your test results or to schedule an appointment. Follow up and make sure that your treatment plan is moving along. It is also helpful to double-check with your insurance to confirm that tests, procedures, and doctors are in-network.

"And whenever possible, get your labs and imaging done at an outpatient surgery center or imaging center instead of the hospital. The cost difference can be huge, and it can save you a lot of time and money," she says.

Isaiah Baiyekusi, BSN, RN, CDN

Clinical Coordinator, DaVita Sienna Dialysis

All nurses are advocates for their patients.

"I think all nurses are advocates for their patients. Being an advocate is just a part of what I do every day, because we are trying to give a voice to people who have no voice," says Baiyekusi, a nurse who specializes in nephrology.

"We are trying to make sure that we echo that from the platform we have been given."

Jennifer DiPietrantonio, ADN, BSN, RN

Creator, Founder, and CEO, SB Clinical and StinkBalm, LLC

This is why staff aren't rushing to your bedside.

"The ER doesn't run on any one patient's timeline; it runs on whoever is closest to dying right now," says DiPietrantonio, who has been a nurse for 17 years, 12 in the emergency department, and now runs a company making discreet, under-the-nose odor barrier balm.

"When I finally got back to a room, I wasn't being careless or forgetful; I was triaging in real time, often making split-second decisions about who needed me most. Understanding this doesn't just ease patient frustration; it helps nurses, too. A little grace in those gaps means we walk back into the room less braced for anger and more able to be present with you," she says.

"If you didn't see me for an hour, it wasn't because I forgot you. I was probably performing chest compressions on someone in cardiac arrest, sitting with a family who had just received the worst news of their life, or cleaning and feeding someone's grandmother who couldn't care for herself."

Katelyn Carey, SN, RN

Clinical Consultant, Colossus Technologies Group

Stress affects communication.

"So many times when patients come in to be seen by a medical provider, their stress level is high. Perhaps they're worried that their symptoms mean something is wrong. Is it cancer? Is it a stroke? Something else that could change their life in frightening ways? Or maybe they're coming into the ER with significant pain or injuries. Stress could affect both your visit and what happens after it," says Carey, who was a nurse for 22 years and now works as an emergency department consultant.

"People take in, process, and retain information differently when stressed. Stress makes you less likely to remember what we said, and what you wanted to say. So, consider bringing someone with you to high-stress appointments, someone who can help you remember. Consider writing down your questions and concerns ahead of time or taking notes during the visit.

"Stress makes it harder to understand detailed information. And human nature makes us not want to admit we didn't understand something the first time. Please ask questions. Better yet, say 'This is how I understood what you just said,' and repeat things back in your own words.

"Stress makes us more prone to lashing out at others, especially when there are long wait times or other factors making the situation more challenging. Take some deep breaths, take a break, do whatever you need to manage your emotions."

Danielle Miller, DNP, RN

Founder of The Pivot Nurse, Inc.

We come back day after day.

"I have been a nurse for over two decades. My career has included bedside nursing, management, leadership, and executive roles in consulting and technology," says Miller, who holds a doctorate in nursing.

"Even on the worst shifts, when we are tired, short-staffed, overwhelmed, hungry, behind, and emotionally drained, we come back. Day after day, we come back to care for you, to fight for you, to comfort you, to teach you, and to stand between you and harm as much as we possibly can," says Miller.

"We remember your names, the room, the diagnosis, and the time with your family. We remember the moments that things turned for the better, or the moments they unfortunately did not."